“Relationship” re- Defined

Being involved sexually with someone doesn’t make that a relationship.

There has to be atleast some amount of emotional attachment too. Actually a great amount. Some say it to be Love (or whatever) A great sense of inter- dependence, unfailing understanding and a huge realization of one’s OWN responsibility.

The jargons are being harped upon only since the last 5 years or so..

Growing up; I have made my own observations. I defined the “terms” as I witnessed them. I didn’t accept what was being “told” as being “acceptable”. Though the latter term is often never talked about. It’s damn well understood. What’s preached by elders and the society is the only “acceptable” norm. Bullsh*t.

Glad, the world is changing now.. atleast while talking. Also, in the glossy magazines. Maybe with time, it will get well versed with the logic too.

Marriage/Commitment are synonymous

So are affairs and open relationships. Ask anyone who is into “living together” or “live-in”; he/she would tell you how much of themselves they lose into that relationship to keep it going. So, how’s marriage different then?

What I am saying is; we need to understand the logics first instead of clutching to the tags (marriage/affair/living in/relationship). We so love to sashay the tag and toss the “understanding” of the essence way back while walking towards the arrangement..!!

All relationships are arrangements

A Relationship of convenience. Once again- it’s great.. As long as one understands his/her partner and respects the guidelines or the essence; it’s an achievement.

Just how many times it works, since it’s tagged as Marriage? If whirling around the Fire guaranteed any sustenance or even anything else; Sita won’t have been sent to exile– again and forever.

Expecting too much/Being Demanding/Taking for granted; more or less overlap each other in their meanings

Taking the other one for granted has been since ages. Always. Till the time the other one gracefully accepts that as his/her responsibility, it goes good. No sooner does the other one say- “why me?”; the relationship sags. The issue of taking the other one for granted comes along, then. Your involvement in the arrangement decides the choice of words to define the type of relationship.

As long as it’s suited to both of them; it works well. The problem arises; when the other one feels left out. Because he/she

  • May not have defined his/her priorities.
  • Didn’t care to maintain his/her own Identity.
  • Has been a little too dependent on the other one.
  • Had handed his/her reins to the other one.

Like a poet once said that a bird would always love to fly in open. No matter whether she does not get her food and water. She prefers to be left in bewilderment rather than sitting inside even one Gold Cage.

Likewise, we, the women don’t wish to be clipped or stringed or even strapped or leashed. We wish to live and breathe and survive; the way we wish to. We know what it is. We know what it takes. Just don’t cage us- anymore.

We are exhibiting our polygamous nature

It is so natural that we are now coming out with more separations than the number of years or even days spent in one relationship.

It’s no longer an inter- dependent relationship. Women have stepped out to work. They have gained financial security. They don’t wish to bow anymore. Why should they- now that they have become self- dependent? We don’t look upto anyone for any support- anymore.

Why we used to..? Reasons:

Society is the Biggest cage

Even though that we live in a Society and that it supposedly consists of us; the truth is far from it. We are all en-caged- within obsolete rulings. By the over- ruled guidelines. We are confined within the biases. Religions, castes, creed.. draw walls to segregate people within cells. We live contrary to our thoughts, ourselves and our contentments. Since, it’s we who make a Society.. and also define the rules.

Let’s not force “our” opinions on “others”. Where does Morality say to exert upon others’ mental sanity?

Aren’t the states and countries enough to create distances and confines?

Result: The relationships suffer..

The more the number of dispositions; the more conditional it becomes.

Isn’t the increasing number and trend of Gigolos, a definite clue of the changing times?

Retired Group Captain or Colonel

Below are the two articles covered by TOI and HT (respectively). Note the discrepancy in reporting the Rank of the Officer..

~*~*~

Times Of India- 3rd September, 2010

GURGAON: Eight robbers broke into the home of a retired colonel in Sector 7, stabbed the elderly man several times and escaped with jewellery and cash worth lakh on Thursday.

Police said the incident took place around 4 am. “The victim, Ashokpal, and his wife were sleeping in the bedroom on the first floor of their house. One of the goons entered through a window on the ground floor after taking out the rods. He then opened the main gate and let in his accomplices. They ransacked the rooms on the ground floor and then moved upstairs,” said Sanjeev Balhara, SHO, Sector 5 police station.

The police said the robbers tore the bedsheets in the ground floor bedrooms and used them to cover their faces. They woke up 63-year-old Ashokpal and his wife and forced them to reveal where the cash and jewellery were kept, the SHO said.

Ironically, Ashokpal had shifted to this house only five days back. “We were woken up by the robbers. It was so horrifying to see the masked men brandishing knives, pistols and rods. They asked us to hand over the keys to the almirah. Though my wife told them where the keys were, I said I will raise an alarm. This irked them and one of the robbers stabbed me three to four times. They tied our hands with the bed sheets,” he recounted. He said the robbers took away Rs 35,000 in cash and jewellery worth Rs 4 lakh.

The criminals stayed in the house for about 40 to 45 minutes and locked the couple from outside before escaping. The victims called up the police from their mobile phone.

The police said Ashokpal received wounds on his chest and arm and was taken to a nearby private hospital for treatment. He was discharged after primary treatment.

The police are still clueless about the identity of the criminals. “We have registered a case against the unidentified criminals under sections 395 (punishment for dacoity), 397 ( Robbery, or dacoity, with attempt to cause death or grievous hurt) and 457 (lurking house trespass or house-breaking by night in order to commit offence) of the IPC,” said Balhara.

The incident comes a month after a businessman’s family was held captive and robbed by five criminals in Sector 15. The police are yet to make a breakthrough in the case.

**vis-a-vis**

Hindustan Times- 3rd September, 2010- No information could be googled online. Refer the scanned image of the News Report as printed on the cover page.

Note- Sanjeev Shuja is the same correspondent, who I had forwarded the Dilli Haat Public Smoking Offence Complaint. He had refused to put that across. Only a few weeks back, I had reported about Public Servants being unavailable. Chew It– Palam Vihar, Gurgaon Police Station landline was disconnected due to non- payment of Telephone Bill. He had not only changed the name of the caller, but also not printed across other related mis- informations.

Scanned Image of the article in HT- 3rd September, 2010

Gurgaon Police landline disconnected due to non- payment

Read below the article published in Hindustan Times- 5th August, 2010. My boss had called Ahuja up and he had assured a callback. The callback didn’t happen; however, this article has. The printed version did not return any Google Links though. Scanned Image of the Article being added. Click on the Image so to read the actual content.

My Boss’s name has been skewed to A. L. Sehgal; nevermind the name, as long as such a matter did manage to print itself across in a major newspaper. For more details; also check- the Previous Post

For details on the actual grievance and more, please check here- Palam Vihar, Gurgaon Police- Does Not Exist